Tackling loneliness in your career as an author
Writing can be a lonely task. But, author Celia Silvani shares how she found support and friendship by connecting with fellow writers
The nature of writing
There’s a loneliness to writing a book. I don’t just mean the act of writing itself, but all the time spent withdrawing from the world, typing into the abyss, hoping that these words might resonate with someone, somewhere.
Writing takes me a long time. And when I became a parent, I struggled to balance everything. Friends got used to hearing me say I’d used up my fun quota, while my husband endured sub-par company during increasingly distracted dinners and late-night laptop sessions.
I don’t think I realised how isolated I felt until I wasn’t anymore.
When I joined the Orion Debut Writers’ Academy, I was suddenly among people who knew exactly what it was like refreshing their inbox 17 times a day waiting for feedback, or waking up in the middle of the night and updating your Notes app because you’ve remembered a crucial detail your book is definitely missing – before immediately forgetting about said note.
It wasn’t just about finding other writers; it was about discovering a village.
Writing is solitary by nature, but it doesn’t have to be lonely. I spent too long thinking I had to go it alone, like some rite of passage.
If I could rewind the clock, I’d seek out a community, any community, of writers or creators who could offer guidance through the maze of publishing.
Connection and not competition
One of the biggest surprises was the openness of the writers I met. I’d expected it to feel competitive, or for there to be that awkward, unspoken sense of rivalry you sometimes get in creative spaces.
From the beginning, there was a genuine warmth. I spent time every week with a group of people walking their own paths, all at different stages, but with the same goal in sight.
Shared struggles
Waiting, uncertainty, silence: the dreaded combination that haunts writers. But having a village changes everything. These aren’t just people who understand the job, they understand the highs and lows of the journey, all the twists and turns as convoluted as the best thriller.
My husband, the sounding board for all my worries, tried his absolute best, but he will never fully understand the excruciating, all-consuming wait between sending a manuscript and hearing back.
My village, though? They’re there with me in the trenches, offering advice, encouragement, and, when necessary, a sense of perspective.
We’ve celebrated launches, swapped sneak peeks of new projects and provided companionship.
I needed this village
There was a point where my book was delayed – a common occurrence in publishing, but still, one that really rattled me. The group reassured me it was just part of the process.
I also was connected to a mentor who provided excellent perspective, advice, and motivation to get cracking immediately with my idea for book two.
At times, the publishing world felt a bit too big to navigate alone. I have the most phenomenal agent who supports me through everything, but it has been a huge relief to be introduced to people who are also writers. There are some neuroses that I think are best shared with people also in the thick of it.
Looking back, I’m not sure how I thought I could navigate this world without a village by my side. I’m deeply thankful to the Debut Writers’ Academy for becoming that for me - and for giving me the confidence to befriend writers beyond the group. It’s made all the difference.
Celia Silvani is a charity communications manager and freelance writer, who has written for Stylist, The Telegraph and BBC Future on topics ranging from weddings to hurricanes. She got the inspiration for her novel, Baby Teeth, from an NBC article she couldn't stop thinking about, and interviewed midwives and obstetricians to get a fuller picture of birthing stories – as well as spending a lot of time lurking in the dark corners of internet...